The Resilient Dream: A Reminder to Remember

Then déjà vu hit, and I was grateful that I remember dreams.

I laughed, “Don’t worry about it, there’s a rock over there on the other side of that log.”

He looked at me with a look I know well. Do you think I’m stupid? One of us must be.

“We’re in a swamp; there are no rocks anywhere.”

So, I stood up and fetched the rock.

Good thing I didn’t miss that flight. I was on my way to a very important assignment, which became a launching pad for the rest of my career.

I’m so happy that I can remember dreams. At the time, I filed it under, “I had this crazy dream.” I hadn’t even met the guy yet, nor had I any idea that riding a Jeep in the mud might be something I’d enjoy doing one day.

Last night I dreamt that I was told I had to board a plane, so I was told to pull together some things, and let’s get going. So, I ran around, throwing clothes into the first bag I could grab. It was a paper gift bag, and not much fit in it, and then it ripped. So, I grabbed a reusable grocery bag and started filling it.

When I got on board, two men were hunched face to face over a board, lost in concentration, deep in a game. One slowly looked over at me, clearly not in the rush that I was in. He suggested I might have the time to go back and maybe get a better bag, at least.

So, I was grabbing other things, like toiletries, makeup, and a swimsuit. I didn’t want to waste time going upstairs to get stuff, but I did get a suitcase I recognized and filled it.

Getting the Hint

When I woke up, I thought, well, that must have been July, maybe this coming July. I’m not the only one with a birthday in July in this house. I couldn’t tell whether the bag’s color was more royal blue or turquoise. If it was royal, it was closer to the beginning of July; otherwise, it was the end of July.

I wonder why I am racing around packing for a flight in July, but maybe I should take note of what I’d thrown in that suitcase and have it ready.

Would it hurt?

What if a dream was your right brain trying to tell you some important stuff that it can see coming as clearly as you can calculate your dividends?

What could be true is that you have knowledge within you that you have no way of knowing if you insist on relying only upon what you can measure and prove.

Because guess what? Science doesn’t know everything, and where it doesn’t know, you are free to roam.

I am free to believe that my dreams are messages coming through in the way that the right brain communicates – in pictures and feelings.

I don’t know where the information might come from. Lynne McTaggart would explain The Field to you, and I think it’s the one book that changed my life. I like to think that I have angels, guardians, and souls I’ve known who might be stepping in to help. I also know that time is more of a concept than a concrete variable, so maybe some will be really early, and others will be right on time.

It’s all in good time if you remember your dreams. When your déjà vu moments arrive, are you prepared?

Being Prepared

I know that I’m going to believe whatever works for me; whatever empowers me, makes me think I have more understanding, more control, more feedback, then that’s what I’m going to believe. It’s circular because I look for proof, and more and more abounds.

Isn’t that what you are doing? Getting more and more of something? If you don’t like what you are getting, listen to yourself explain to yourself about how it all makes sense.

Then change your mind about that.

In university, my yearbook quote was, “Life is one damn thing after another.” Today I say, “I am the co-creator of my universe.” When you realize that they are the exact same thing, you take control of that power you always had.

Believe what you want to believe. There were several years apart between the dream that was about, “Crap, I forgot to pack a bikini!”, to the snowmobiling vacation that started with, “Crap, I forgot to pack a bikini!”

But most dreams I heed, as does that guy that I’m still with, who was driving his newly restored Jeep through the woods and swamps to impress me.

When my work broke us up because of our lack of time and communication skills to talk about it, I cried about it and wrote, “I will really miss that Jeep, but I guess I won’t ever ride in the boat again.”

He called and asked, “What did you do?”

I asked why first.

About 16 trees were lost on his property, while the neighbors were largely untouched. 15 of them had formed a teepee around the Jeep, completely unscathed, and one had taken out the passenger side of the boat, without touching the motor.

Oopsie.

I try to be much more careful with my words these days.

Gathering Clues

I always try to remember my dreams. They are clues to how the future may unfold, or how I can perceive the past differently, in ways that might better prepare me for the future.

The best part is that my partner also believes in the premonitory nature of my dreams. Every morning, he asks, “What did you dream about last night?”

After he listens intently, his last statement is always, “Well then, I guess we better…”

Sometimes, when I think they are personal, I say, “I don’t remember.”

Sometimes when the moon is full, I can’t sleep because I don’t need a dream to realize what truth I’ve been trying to avoid confronting.

Regarding my flight-packing dream, the real question is, “What year?” I’ve lived at this address for over 4 years now, helping pilots dock, and might for many more. It’s the only way I could have been running back and forth to pack some more.

The only clue was the hair gel I grabbed for my suitcase.

The gel was the brand and formula I’m currently using. Based on how much was remaining in the tub, I’m on track for July.

However, if I decide to stick with this for the rest of my life, it could be any year. And I did say, “Wow, I love the spirals this stuff makes. I might never buy anything else.”

Lots of stuff I don’t say out loud, but I do say them clearly in my head. As a youngster, I remember people being scolded to “Read to yourself.” As adults, I think too many of us have outgrown that ability to talk to ourselves, and some of us live lives too noisy to hear what we are saying.

Yesterday, I saw someone with a licence plate that creatively read “too busy.” I wondered why she’d want to invite that into her life and have it take over. Couldn’t she think of a better way to live? An aim a little higher?

To each their happy place. It doesn’t look like she’s enjoying it, but maybe she’s tuned into another Carney announcement on the radio, because if you ever see me scowling, that’s what’s going on.

Is that really what you want?

If that’s not it, then what do you want?

To win the lottery, he says.

But here I am, and he doesn’t realize that he already has.

I just shake my head and laugh, because why point out the obvious?

He also just found out that he was willed money he didn’t expect, the seller of his new truck wants half of what it’s worth, and everyone in town is talking about the feat his hunter-of-a-girlfriend just accomplished.

“If it weren’t for the women around here, what would the men eat?” my neighbor yelled over.

Funny, I said the same thing in 2023 to all the men at the hunting camp. Two years later, it’s made its way back around to me. The energy you put in motion is like a boomerang. Some people send it, and then don’t know when to duck when it comes around. I like to send out what I want so it comes back to me.

My mother had a poster: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it always was yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

Are you trying to hold on to something that isn’t yours? Not only does it fight back and resist, but it will find a way to escape.

Ignored Assistance

I love being the provider for the men in my life. They provide the land, which gives me the opportunity, so who is providing for whom, I’d ask? This is a resilient reciprocity in which no one is keeping score or taking advantage of the ambiguity.

As a teenager, I had a dream about pulling up to a glass window, taking off my helmet, and shaking out my long curls as actresses do on the silver screen. When it happened for real, I was surprised to find myself on a snowmobile, not a motorcycle, but there was nothing mistaken except my assumptions.

There was a long road between the time I first put on a snowmobile helmet and the time I fell in love with it. I had bitter spats with periods of withdrawal and separation. Just like in my real life, I believe that love is a growth experience, and you are going to stumble and get hurt.

Just like riding a bike, but if you don’t learn to apologize, recognize where emotions took over because they were too big to contain or control, you realize, ah yes, the learning.

Growing, apologizing, trying harder, or differently – whichever is appropriate.

Because if you are Player One, how many times do you want to do this before you get it right?

As long as I’m having fun, I’m happy to play without any assistance. In Candy Crush Saga, I’m on level ten thousand and something, and I’ve only Googled for a hint once. But in life, I take it from any trusted source.

If there’s one source I trust, it’s me. I know what it feels like, joy or maybe exhilaration, love, and fear, so shaken up and drowned out that you can’t tell the difference, if you ever could.

Insidious Addiction

It’s a feeling you can get addicted to. It’s the same when I fell in love with public speaking and wanted to take all the slots in Toastmasters. I was far from great at it, but I was willing to commit.

We’ve all had the experience of going after something we know will cause pain and suffering, yet we tell ourselves it will be worth it. Where does this certainty come from, especially when we are chasing something we’ve usually never experienced before?

It could be chemical; it could be karmic.

Ever since I was a kid, getting pushed out the door to go play with neighborhood kids, with bikes, with dolls, I remember dreams with, “No, I’d rather stay home and play Mastermind with the Universe.” I was smart enough to know not to say it out loud, but when you first get a taste of having your wishes granted right in front of you, you can’t help but think, “Did I do that?”

You know when everyone else asks, “How did you do that?”

That’s a question I hope everyone is prepared to answer when it’s their turn to be asked. Be addicted to understanding the context, the clarity, and the consequences. Research and rehearse until you have the specifics all ironed out. Get addicted to knowing when it’s your turn to say, “I’ve got this.”

You’re the best option when you’re the only option. It’s not always perfection that’s required, but a volunteer who will do their best. Don’t underestimate “Good enough.”

Maybe I’m rushing onto a plane because someone wants to know my answer and doesn’t have the time or patience to go through all these words I’ve written to remember dreams.

Imagined Winnings

What? It could happen, so I learned from the Netflix show Man on the Inside.

I hope I perform with perfection, since perfection is a performance, and no one pays for the rehearsal but expects you to have done it.

I started watching Man on the Inside because I thought it was freaky that Ted Danson could go from bartender to engineer without a reminder of either. His performance as an engineer is impeccable, as he reminds me a little of myself, but more of two other engineers I know well. It’s laugh-out-loud, with tears rolling down my face, funny.

As I wrote about names and changing minds, I followed up with the episode of their codenames and the associated group plan. The girlfriend was sidelined, out of the plan, and she wasn’t happy.

Just like me, I identified. One of them said she threw conversational grenades like it was nothing, they admired her infectious confidence like it was deadly, and generally wanted to keep their distance. I couldn’t help but think, hmm, is that why?

Spoiler alert, she decides her job can be accomplished with machinery, so she decides to do her own thing – which ends up being the thing that saves the mission.

“Underestimated,” she says, should be her codename.

Yep, on all fronts, because if they can’t predict or control you, you might upset their apple cart, and you have a history of spilled apples in your wake.

Here’s my advice: don’t sideline the wild card just because you can’t give it a well-defined role.

Let that wild card go completely wild and do what it does when you need a Hail Mary maneuver. Just don’t give it the title of chief security officer and ask it to watch a door that should be locked.